he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
