Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
