On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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