Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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