don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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