i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
