Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
