she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
