i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
