New low: just hacked my moms facebook
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
