One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
