We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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