That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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