My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just google imaged poop.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
