Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
