Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Randomize
