You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
