you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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