I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Your penis caused this!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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