She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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