I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
