You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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