I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
