im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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