Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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