Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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