I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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