you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
