I just saw a hot homeless man
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
