Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
