we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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