ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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