for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
