I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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