You're my little dorito
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
