For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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