I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
