I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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