Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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