so explain again why im purple
no
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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