is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
