sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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