cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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