you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
3pm strippers are depressing
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
