We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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