just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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