They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
