I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
