I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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