I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
