if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
