Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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