I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
BRING THE BAGELS
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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