Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Sober January is a disaster.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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